Monday, April 23, 2012

Call Forwarding

“Before we go,” Gus said, “Check the top right-hand drawer of your desk.  The little one.”

I opened the drawer.  Inside was only one thing:  a dark black cell phone.  “A cell phone?” I said.

“You’ll want to take that with you,” he explained.  “If an important call comes into your office while you’re out, it will forward to the cell.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” I said.  “Hell uses cell phones?”

“Hey, it can’t give you cancer if you’re already dead,” Gus replied with a smile.

“I guess I was expecting something a little more…I don’t know…”

“A little less cellular and a little more Hellular?” he chuckled, clearly proud of his own joke.  “We used to use a system of messengers and couriers, but the invention of the cell phone has made things run a lot more smoothly around here.  Plus, the demons we used to use as messengers have been reallocated to other departments.  Boosts efficiency.”

I frowned, turning the sleek device over in my hand appraisingly.   Gus seemed to read my mind.  “I know, I know,” he said, waving a hand dismissively.  “You’re in Hell, there’s supposed to be fire and brimstone, caverns of blood and pain, yadda yadda yadda.  But there’s limits, man, even in the afterlife.  There’s always room for improvement.  And that little baby improved a lot.”

I shook my head.  “Weird.  Okay, uh, where do we go then?”

Gus opened the door through which I’d entered much earlier.  “It’s just down the hall,” he said.

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