Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Guard

In a hallway in front of us stood what I assumed was the guard who'd let us enter.  He'd sounded like a goblin before, but it appeared now that he actually was a goblin.

He was maybe three feet tall, with green skin, grotesque features, bad teeth and a tiny pot belly.  His ears were long, pointy, and drooped as if in an attempt to balance out his ugliness with a splash of cuteness.

He also held a wooden spear.  He pointed it at me suspiciously.

"Take me to General Gavsot," I said.

"That's not how this works," he spat contemptuously.  "He's coming to you.  You don't go nowhere."

Thinking back to my recent success subjugating a badass demon like Vilnius, I decided to throw my weight around and let him know I wasn't going to be a pushover. 

"No, it works how I say it works," I contradicted him firmly.  "Take me to General Gavsot."  The goblin thing narrowed its yellow eyes at me.  "Now," I added for good measure.

"You shut up," the thing said shrilly.  "You don't give orders here.  You don't go nowhere."  It set its jaw like the matter was concluded.

Well, now I had to do something.  I couldn't let this little goblin thing defy me, especially after I'd pushed him to obey.  So I swept my hand out, grabbed his spear from his claws, yanked it free, flipped it around, and brought the butt of the weapon down on his ugly little face.

"Did you see that?!"  I whispered to Gus, who appeared frozen in shock.  "That's some Keanu Reeves Matrix shit I just did!"

Then the goblin thing got up and shrieked at me.  It was the loudest noise I've ever heard in my entire life.  I mean, in my entire death.

His muscles tensed.  He was about to do something, and it looked like he meant business.  For the first time, I'd considered that perhaps I had underestimated him.

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