Monday, October 22, 2012

Three Hundred Demons


I sat in dejection for a moment.  Then I reached for my cell phone and dialed Gus' number.

He picked up after the first ring.  "Jorge's settling in nicely, Boss-man," he said.  "I think he might have a real knack for this."

"Hey, why would Kivra need three hundred more demons?" I asked.

"What?" he sounded worried.  "You didn't give her three hundred more demons, did you?"

I swallowed.  "She...may have talked me into it," I admitted. 

"Sir, Kivra is the head of the largest department.  Sure, there's a lot of torturing to do, but they have all of eternity to get the job done.  I would be concerned about what she might need three hundred demons for.  I really doubt she's going to put them to work torturing humans."

"So, what, she's going to build an army to take over Hell?" I asked.

"Could be," he replied.  His tone of voice implied he'd just shrugged.  "But Kivra casts a wide net when it comes to ambition.  She could be planning something even crazier and even worse."

"So what can I do?" I asked.  "She made me sign a Satanic Order."

"Just make a new one reversing your decision," Gus said.

"I can do that?" I replied, incredulous.  "That seems...silly."

"Dude, you're the Devil.  This is not a democratic process.  The masses of damned souls and demons you rule over are one hundred percent subject to your every whim.  You can change your mind whenever the hell you feel like it.  And the only thing they can do about it--"

"--is mount a rebellion?" I finished dryly.

"Yeah, pretty much," he replied darkly.

Just then the door to my office opened softly.  I glanced up to see the exceptionally large-breasted receptionist from the Department of Transportation enter, looking strangely demure. 

"Gus?" I said, unable to tear my eyes away from her naked body, "I think I'll have to call you back."

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