Monday, April 1, 2013

Negotiations Continue

It was my turn to laugh.  "You want three thousand demons?" I said incredulously.  Her fierce expression and her pressure on my throat both immediately intensified.

"I think," she hissed, "All things considered, that's a pretty fair deal."  She smiled at me again, twisting those inviting lips into an evil, manipulative grin.  "Your other option," she said, letting the thought hang.  I guess her goal was to get me to mentally fill in the blank.  I knew she could make me suffer for not acquiescing to her demands.  And I still needed to get out of here and down to General Gavsot's battle front.  

"Fine," I said hoarsely.  "Three thousand demons.  All yours."  It was a calculated loss.  A tactical treat.  Or I was pussying out to fight another day.  A tactical retreat.  Whatever.  The point was I'd be able to get away from Kivra, her grip on my throat, and her lithe body rubbing against me.  

But, to my dismay, I discovered that simply giving in to her did not free me from her power as I'd hoped.  Her hot, surprisingly unsexy breath was on my face again as she whispered, "What assurance do I have that you won't fuck me over a second time?"

Considering the plan was to fuck her over a second time, I struggled to find an acceptable reply.  "My...word of honor?" I offered weakly.  

Kivra didn't like that, but she released me--violently.  She let go of my neck and brought her knee up into my ribs as I fell.  I collapsed on the platform in front of her and she stood over me, giving me a clear view of her bare genitals and still managing to look imposing.  As much as I wanted to look, I was kind of worried that she'd rip my arms off if she caught me staring.

She leaned forward as she towered over me, her breasts hanging pleasantly from her toned body.  "Fuck your word of honor," she barked.  "The reason you won't fuck me over a second time is because you need me as an ally and you do not want me as an enemy."

My neck was burning and my ribs ached.  "Right," I said.  "That's what I meant to say."

"Fuckin' right," Kivra sneered.  "Now get the fuck out of my sight."


  1. God, what a pussy. He already made a stronger, more powerful demon than her who had several other powerful demons backing him retreat, and he's going to just crumple to this? I suppose it's meant to be funny, but it's just fucking pathetic. Give the guy a little bit of a spine, he's supposed to be used to fucking with people yet you've got him acting like some poor abused little nerd. On the same note, what kind of top of the pile supposedly rich, strong, attractive highschool bully is a virgin and this absolutely vulnerable to manipulation by women? If he was bad enough in that role to get sent to hell then he's probably beat the shit out of countless people and forced himself onto a girl or two at least.

    1. I think it is clearly hinted throughout the story that he IS something like a nerd. It is never stated that he was used to messing with people (or even what he did exactly), just that he was a mean person who treated others badly. And it is definitely NEVER stated that he was strong or attractive. In fact I thought it as pretty clear that he was a complete loser before the whole getting turned into the Devil thing. Considering that fact he actually seems to be doing pretty well. I also think you're underestimating the power of a female figure (especially from a teenager male's perspective.)

    2. Haha, thanks, anonymous defender!

      In the first commenter's defense, although you pretty much nailed the kind of guy Jason was, I didn't do a super job of making that clear, so I can totally understand his complaint. It's the kind of thing I'd try to fix in a second draft.

      But all the same, I'm glad to someone grasps my main character despite my failings!