Friday, April 12, 2013

The Plan in Action

My brilliant plan to defeat our invaders was to surrender immediately.  Napoleon, Robert E. Lee and Patton would all have been proud to watch me execute my ingenious military strategy.

Gavsot signaled to his captains to fall back.  Eventually the mass of demons disengaged from the fray and retreated to a tense, narrow distance from the group of attackers.  Still shaking from a noxious cocktail of nerves, fear and adrenaline, I stepped through the line of sweaty, bleeding demons and confronted the group of maybe one hundred monsters.

Now that I had the opportunity to look closely at them, I wished I hadn't.  They were grotesque and formidable.  The majority of them stood at about six and a half feet.  Every one of them was bulky and muscular, but their movements gave a sense of horrible grace--some innate agility that made their size all the more fearsome.  They were humanoid, just like the demons, but with Frankenstein-esque faces.  Their features were invariably ugly and poorly-proportioned.  Their eyes were exactly like shark eyes--slid toward the sides of the face, with a narrow elliptical pupil surrounded by a bleak, emotionless iris.  Protruding from each of their wrists was a bone-like blade that extended a good six inches past their fingertips and appeared to be retractable.  Their mottled ashy color combined with the fact that they were clearly some tough motherfuckers made it seem as though they were partially constructed out of rock.  Every one of them was naked, although they didn't appear to have genitals--which was fine by me because they would probably have been nauseatingly malformed.

I was standing between a line of those big ugly things and a swarm of pissed-off and demoralized demons.  Taking a deep breath and hoping that my voice didn't crack, I announced as loudly and as authoritatively as I could, "I'm here to negotiate our surrender.  Do you have a leader?"

A few of the creatures stepped aside to allow one of their own to step forward.  When I saw him, I probably wet myself.

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