Wakka, despite being an angry little curmudgeon, was surprisingly grateful. In fact, I could have sworn that he was blinking back a few tears of joy. Perhaps my decision to make him Director despite his species was a moment of validation for him. I felt like I was a socially progressive Devil who was making strides toward ending species inequality in Hell. Which seemed kind of silly. But I couldn’t help but feel a little pride—I may be the Devil, but at least I was doing some good.
“I’d love to stay and chat, and maybe help you get settled in or something,” I said lamely, “But there’s something really important that I need to do right now.” I paused. “So…here’s your Department, go nuts, have fun, don’t fuck it up…call me if you need me.” Anticipating possible problems for once, I said, “You do have Vilnius’s cell phone around here somewhere, don’t you?”
“Yes,” Wakka said quickly. “It’s in the office. In…my…office,” Wakka said, a slow grin creeping across his ugly features.
“Great. In that case,” I reiterated quickly, “If you get in a jam, use it to give me a call, but right now I really need to go. Best of luck.” I gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder which I immediately realized might be kind of condescending. But then I figured—I’m the supreme ruler around here, so maybe it’s not so condescending when I’m condescending. Maybe I wasn’t all about equality after all.
I glanced meaningfully at my companions and nodded toward the crevice hidden behind the stone spire. “Time to go,” I said.