Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Complication

“Okay, just to clarify,” I said thinly, “Did you say ‘we’ because you were quoting some dumb song or because you and Azraal are working together?”

She shook her head vigorously, frowning like a child who’d just been ordered to eat her vegetables.  “Ew, no, I’m not working with that guy,” she insisted. 

“Good to know,” I said, wondering if I could take her at her word.  “So how psychic are you, exactly?”

“Very,” she replied proudly.

The levels of my stress and my patience were diverging rapidly and dangerously.  “Could you maybe elaborate on that?” I suggested.

“I know everything that happens down here,” she said. “Everything.  Everything to me.  When I close my eyes, it’s you I see.”

“Right,” I said.  “So you know everything that I just did, but you can’t see the future?”

“Exactly,” she said happily, her almost-cute-but-repulsive features twisting into a grin.  “That’s why I know now that you used the wrong blood but I didn’t know you were going to make that mistake last time we talked.”  She flopped down on her couch and casually continued, “You didn’t use the blood of a murderer like I told you to.”

“Yes I did,” I grated.

“No you didn’t,” she insisted, picking up her controller.

“I used the blood of one of the guys who murdered me,” I explained to her, plucking her controller from her grasp and tossing it aside.  “I personally witnessed him commit murder, so don’t try and tell me that I didn’t use the blood of a murderer.”


She smiled up at me with her ashen lips.  “You didn’t use the blood of a murderer,” she repeated.  “Quinn Madsen is innocent.”

13 comments:

  1. I'm happy to oblige. I've been pretty reliable on the MWF schedule for a while now...except when I get really ambitious and do a little extra.

    Thanks again. I hope to see you around here some more!

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  2. Oh, you will. I am completely hooked now. This is really well-written, and I had several laugh out loud moments. Nice work!

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  3. Wow. I'm quite flattered.

    In an effort to return the favor, I checked out your serial Hidden. I'm only five episodes in so far, but I'm finding it fascinating. It's an interesting setting, and your lead character is both strong and fun to read. I'm also interested to see how the mythology works, because you've only dropped a few hints here and there. Should be pretty interesting.

    Anyway, I usually hate web serials. I mean, some of them are just plain bad, but mostly I dislike the medium. I'd rather read from a paperback than a computer screen. So I tend to go through the webfics I like very slowly (It took me like two months to catch up with The Zombie Knight). When I do finally catch up with Hidden, I'll make sure to give it a review on Web Fiction Guide. But until then, at least you have my vote on Top Web Fiction every seven days!

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  4. Thank you! I really appreciate it!

    There's a romance angle to my serial that starts up later in season one and through season two, and readers seem to either love it or hate it, so it's definitely not for everyone. If it's not your thing, I won't be offended if you stop reading. :)

    I have the same issue with serials. I've found very few that I've really gotten into. You have my vote over at Top Web Fiction every week as well!

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    1. Cool, cool.

      That romance angle sounds intriguing. I guess soon I'll find out why it's been so polarizing among your readers, but I'd have to really hate it for it to make me stop reading. Seems unlikely, lol.

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  5. Gah! Can't wait for the next post!! The plot is definitely thickening!

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    1. Just twenty-six and a half hours to go!

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  6. Caught up now. I left a trail of comments for you. I don't have an account to post, so the checks are annoying, but I understand how crazy spambots are these days. I'll try to post more later, but I'm out of time for the moment.
    RD

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    1. Hey, I'm just glad you read all the way through and were paying close enough attention to do a little long-overdue proofreading for me!

      Also, I appreciated the little "RD" signature you've been leaving on your comments. Anonymous, obviously, can be anybody, so it's nice to have an idea of which Anonymous I'm talking to!

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    2. I know that I still missed some though. If you have the whole story saved in a word document, you can use the control F feature to locate that Wyvern typo I mentioned.

      And to prove how much I declined as time passed, I even missed one on this page:
      "You didn't use the blood of a murder[er]"

      But on a note about the overall quality of the story: I have to admit the whole bureaucratic labyrinth seems like a valid image of how hell would work. It would make sense for some of the demons to actually be warriors while others would just be pencil pushers. I can also imagine the printers would constantly be low on toner and the water coolers to be lukewarm.
      RD

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    3. Haha! And the office chairs all have one wheel that's jammed, making it impossible to roll anywhere. I like the idea of hell being kind of an absurd mess, so bureaucracy seemed like a logical and familiar way to go.

      Now excuse me while I fix the error on this page and go hunt for this infamous Wyvern typo.

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    4. Aaaaand it turns out there wasn't just one instance of Wyver's name being misspelled...there were four.

      That's just embarrassing. Thanks for the tip, though, because at least now I'm able to hide my shame.

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