I hadn’t slept since the night I died.
Almost immediately after arriving in Hell, I’d been tricked into becoming its ruler. From then on, I’d dealt with one usurper after another. I’d fought off Vilnius, Azraal and Kivra. I’d travelled to the Living Realm to my own funeral to save my parents from demons. I’d conducted job interviews and made appointments to powerful positions. I’d worked with an enemy to find a psychic who could give me a spell I could use to kill a group of creatures who were threatening to overrun Hell. And once I’d finally gotten the spell to work, I killed the leader of those creatures and crushed his army.
I had no idea how many days had passed in Hell while all that was happening, but it felt like a lot. I imagined that, since becoming the Devil made me part demon, I didn’t require sleep the same way I would as a human. But my human half was crying for respite. It was also crying for sex, but that wasn’t a necessity for survival. It did seem like a lot more fun than sleep, though.
Sylnie and I went through a door marked The Devil’s Bedroom and discovered a room clearly designed for a being far kinkier than I. The room was dominated by a bed the size of my entire bedroom back home. It was covered in decadent crimson sheets that were probably silk. Something about the closet seemed to imply that it housed all kinds of crazy sex toys even though its doors were closed. Mirrors were hung liberally on the walls, and, yes, even on the ceiling.
Sylnie seemed almost as excited as I was. “Are you ready?” she asked me.
“Not really,” I admitted. It seemed that no amount of postmortal badassery could prepare me to lose my virginity with confidence. “Uh, lead the way, I guess?”
Sylnie obediently led me to the bed. I sat on the edge and she pushed me back onto the luxuriously soft sheets. She climbed on top of me, straddling my waist. She was heavy, but not uncomfortably so. As I watched and waited, she began to make a sexy show of slowly removing the top of her absurdly revealing French maid outfit.
Despite my excitement, the stress and exhaustion were too much for me—I was asleep before I even glimpsed her underwear.