"What's the best way to get this Satanic Order distributed to all the departments as quickly as possible?" I asked.
"The bulletin system, of course," General Gavsot said.
"Which is…?" I replied impatiently, struggling to type a complete thought and hold a conversation simultaneously.
Gus walked over to my desk and pulled open a shallow drawer on the right side. It contained what looked like a souped up scanner. "Print out the Order, sign it in blood, and put it in here. This will post it publicly in every department. I saw the last devil do it a thousand times."
"Okay, sounds easy enough," I said.
Jaelin teleported in as I resumed typing. She had Torvin shyly in tow. "Jaelin!" I said happily. "Feels like it's been a while!"
She nodded. "How was your nap, sir?"
"Refreshing," I replied. "So I'm calling a council of all the Department Directors. I'm hoping to unify Hell under my rule. I need you to be there in a kind of advisory position."
She cleared her throat awkwardly. "Actually, sir," she said, "I came here to ask you for a kind of…vacation."
"A vacation?" I asked. Did demons take vacations? Was she going to don a bikini and stretch out in a beach chair on the edge of the lake of fire, sipping mojitos?
"Yeah," she said. "After everything that's happened, I hoped you'd be okay with letting me and Torvin have a little…alone time."
I glanced at Torvin. He smiled weakly. "You mean like…sexy alone time?" I asked.
"I was thinking more romantic than sexy," she said with a sly wink in Torvin's direction. "But anything could happen."
"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess," I said. What the hell did Jaelin see in Torvin? Even ignoring the fact that he was a completely useless coward, he wasn't exactly a fine specimen of masculinity. I guess there's no accounting for poor taste. But I figured that Jaelin had supported me admirably in some pretty tight spots, so maybe she'd earned a little latitude. "Just don't stay gone too long. I've come to rely on you a lot around here."
She nodded, grinning. "Absolutely. Thank you, sir!"
"No problem," I said. I quickly reviewed my completed Satanic Order and clicked the print button.
Torvin stepped forward timidly. "I also really appreciate this," he said.
"Shut up," I snapped. "You don't deserve her. If you step even the slightest bit out of line, I will fucking end you." I was this close to telling him that Jaelin was a lady and should be treated as such.
I was seventeen years old. I was too young to be an angry father threatening a prom date with a shotgun.