Friday, February 14, 2014

Distribution and Human Resources

"What's the best way to get this Satanic Order distributed to all the departments as quickly as possible?" I asked.

"The bulletin system, of course," General Gavsot said.

"Which is…?" I replied impatiently, struggling to type a complete thought and hold a conversation simultaneously.

Gus walked over to my desk and pulled open a shallow drawer on the right side.  It contained what looked like a souped up scanner.  "Print out the Order, sign it in blood, and put it in here.  This will post it publicly in every department.  I saw the last devil do it a thousand times."

"Okay, sounds easy enough," I said.  

Jaelin teleported in as I resumed typing.  She had Torvin shyly in tow.  "Jaelin!" I said happily.  "Feels like it's been a while!"

She nodded.  "How was your nap, sir?"

"Refreshing," I replied.  "So I'm calling a council of all the Department Directors.  I'm hoping to unify Hell under my rule.  I need you to be there in a kind of advisory position."

She cleared her throat awkwardly.  "Actually, sir," she said, "I came here to ask you for a kind of…vacation."

"A vacation?" I asked.  Did demons take vacations?  Was she going to don a bikini and stretch out in a beach chair on the edge of the lake of fire, sipping mojitos?

"Yeah," she said.  "After everything that's happened, I hoped you'd be okay with letting me and Torvin have a little…alone time."

I glanced at Torvin.  He smiled weakly.  "You mean like…sexy alone time?" I asked.

"I was thinking more romantic than sexy," she said with a sly wink in Torvin's direction.  "But anything could happen." 

"Uh, yeah, sure, I guess," I said.  What the hell did Jaelin see in Torvin?  Even ignoring the fact that he was a completely useless coward, he wasn't exactly a fine specimen of masculinity.  I guess there's no accounting for poor taste.  But I figured that Jaelin had supported me admirably in some pretty tight spots, so maybe she'd earned a little latitude.  "Just don't stay gone too long.  I've come to rely on you a lot around here."

She nodded, grinning.  "Absolutely.  Thank you, sir!"

"No problem," I said.  I quickly reviewed my completed Satanic Order and clicked the print button. 
Torvin stepped forward timidly.  "I also really appreciate this," he said.

"Shut up," I snapped.  "You don't deserve her.  If you step even the slightest bit out of line, I will fucking end you."  I was this close to telling him that Jaelin was a lady and should be treated as such.

I was seventeen years old.  I was too young to be an angry father threatening a prom date with a shotgun.


  1. Replies
    1. I dropped a few hints. But considering my update schedule, some of those hints were probably six months ago.

  2. He's an underling of Gavsot, so not so much of a security risk with her unless that alliance goes south.