Monday, March 17, 2014

Concerning Death

Korrihor gazed intently at his monitor as he answered.  “The Department of Reprocessing is responsible for finding, acquiring and distributing artifacts from the Realm of the Living to the other departments of Hell,” he said.

“So you give everybody else their desks, their computers, their torture devices and their Whose Line DVDs?” I asked.

“And their French Maid outfits,” Sylnie added with a sigh.

“That’s right,” Korrihor affirmed over the soft grinding of his scroll button.

“But where does the stuff all come from?” I asked.

He paused to give me that over-the-invisible-glasses look again.  "From the Realm of the Living,” he said flatly, as though I hadn’t been listening.

Jaelin seemed to understand my line of questioning more fully.  “Let me try to explain,” she told Korrihor.  “You focus on finding out who ordered the cloaks.”  She turned back to me.   “Death is a powerful force.  When you died, you wound up in Hell, but you also remained up there as a corpse, right?”

“Because my body died but my spirit carries on or whatever,” I said.  It occurred to me that, despite experiencing death and becoming the ruler of a place where people go when they die, I really didn't understand the mechanics of how all that worked.

“Except you still have your body,” she said.  “Your case is a little different because you became the Devil but every other human down here still has a body.  And they have a corpse rotting in the ground upstairs.”

“So now we all have two bodies?”

“More or less,” she replied.

I rolled my eyes.  “Okay, ignoring the mathematical fuzziness concerned with having ‘more or less two bodies,’ what does any of this have to do with the fact that I watched a Toyota fall from the sky a few minutes ago?”

“Death is a powerful force,” she repeated.  “When you die, a copy of you is preserved into the afterlife.  Often, objects in close proximity to the event can be sucked in as well.”

“Wait…you’re telling me that when somebody dies in a car wreck his car gets thrust down to Hell with him?”

“More or less,” she replied.


  1. What about when multiple people die in the same wreck? Are there 118 copies of the same airplane floating around?

    1. Uh...I refer your question to Korrihor. He's, uh, more experienced in this stuff, he might know...