Saturday, March 1, 2014

Making Policy

The meeting wasn't quite as eventful as I'd hoped.

I wanted to generate loyalty among my directors.  I wanted them to see me as charismatic, energetic and full of great ideas.  I wanted to be Steve Jobs up on that stage, introducing a revolutionary new product to uproarious applause and admiration bordering on deification.

Once I really got going, I did the energetic thing okay.  I recouped some of my losses on the charisma front in the aftermath of Diseppia's defiance.  But the biggest problem was that I had no revolutionary new product to introduce.  I was a lamer, impotent version of Steve Jobs getting up in front of his ensorcelled followers to say, "So, what do you guys think we should do?" 

It didn't fly. 

We eventually got down to brainstorming and the Council of Hell finally began to produce some results.  I'd wanted to improve unity and communication, so Jorge suggested that each department submit periodic reports of its operations.  Out of some deeply-ingrained sense of democracy, I almost called a vote.  Then I remembered that I was supposed to be a formidable dictatorial leader, so I simply declared that Jorge's suggestion would become policy.

I also took some time to preach unity.  I reminded my directors of the threat of the Firstborn and tried to instill some fear that there could be other threats out there—which was probably true, but I wasn't exactly speaking from a position of education on the subject.   I reminded them that I was the one who had terminated the threat and that it was achieved through the cooperation of multiple departments. 

"The more we support each other and the more we cooperate, the stronger we'll be.  A house divided against itself cannot stand," I concluded boldly to a silent room.  "Any questions?"

"Sir?" Fikhos said timidly, raising his hand like a kindergartener asking to go to the bathroom.


"Did you just quote Jesus?" he asked.

"The irony isn't lost on me," I admitted.  "Does anyone else have any questions?"

"Yeah," Diseppia piped up.  "Can I go now?"

I sighed.  "Yeah.  You can all go.  Just remember—I want a report on the current state of each of your departments on my desk in an hour!"  They had begun teleporting away so quickly that most of them were gone before I finished speaking. 

"That went super," I whispered sourly to the emptiness.


  1. Okay, I'm kind of late, but here goes:
    The democracy thing can still play out. Jason just needs to ask "All opposed?" and have everyone but Jorge raise their hands. Then he asks "All in favor?" and raises his hand with Jorge's. Then the motion passes.

    But those tags are kind of nice. I didn't remember who Fikhos was just yet and it was able to point me where to see it. Someone reading the archives probably won't have that problem but it is nice for those of us trying to read this in somewhat real time.

    1. I like that! "My vote counts as fifty. The motion passes! "

      I'm glad you found the tags useful. I took that idea from Worm. Any long or slowly-updating webfic should have them, I think, to help readers reacquaint themselves characters they haven't seen in weeks. Especially if half the names are unusual or made up.