Monday, April 7, 2014


“General Gavsot,” I said.  “You’ve arrived just in time to help us stop Hell from invading the Living Realm.”

“Who is invading?” he asked.

“That’s a good question, isn’t it?” I said, glaring at Sebrev.  “Our prisoner here hasn’t been very forthcoming, but he’s claiming that he doesn’t know the identity of whoever is planning the invasion.”

“We also need to rescue Torvin,” Jaelin reminded me.

“And Tithenai,” I added.  “I’m assuming her kidnapping is connected to Torvin’s.  You wouldn’t know anything about Tithenai, would you, Sebrev?”

“Who?” he said blankly.

“Of course he wouldn’t,” Sylnie muttered.

“Then you have two allies missing and a looming invasion,” Gavsot summarized.

“The invasion could be in progress already,” I said.  “It’s not like we hear the noise our upstairs neighbors make.”

Gavsot smiled.  “Then we have a few more questions for our prisoner.”

“Boss-Man,” Gus piped up suddenly.  “I think we can probably assume that there are already demons invading the Realm of the Living.”

Almost everyone with an attached neck turned and gave him a suspicious look.  “What do you mean?” I asked.

“Sebrev’s guys targeted Jaelin and Torvin,” Gus explained fearfully.  “It was right after they got back from their little trip.  Jaelin, where did you take Torvin on your vacation?”

Jaelin closed her eyes slowly in a silent acknowledgement of her mistake.  “To the Realm of the Living,” she admitted softly.  “To that lake that you showed me when we were making the Firstborn weapons, sir.”

Sylnie gasped.  “So when they kidnapped Torvin….”

“Whoever these people are,” I finished, “they have in their possession one of the only two demons in Hell who can teleport into the Living Realm.”

A stunned hush fell back over us.  It was broken a few seconds later by Azraal’s voice cackling, “Hoo boy, this is what they mean when they talk about being up shit creek with no paddle, isn’t it?”


  1. You know, this being Hell, Azraal should probably be careful with what he says. They probably could get a literal shit creek to toss him in.

    1. Haha, very true. But he's been stuck in that drawer for a long time now and I think he's having trouble giving any more fucks.

      Now I'm thinking about a disembodied head being stuck in a literal shit creek. DEAR GOD THE TASTE.

  2. Why is this a problem? Assuming that Hell has the power to conquer the Realm of the Living, why wouldn't our protagonist, the King of Hell, look at this as a simple opportunity to take advantage of?

    1. Jason still has family up there and he's not anxious to see their world burn around them. Plus he's still human and nothing makes a human quite so respectful and nostalgic about earth as getting thrown in Hell.

      Plus, he's not the one invading. He doesn't know the details of the plan. How does he know they're not targeting his family again? How does he know there isn't some other horrible trick up the invader's sleeve?

      Although I shouldn't have needed to explain that. Ten points from my house for unclear writing!

  3. Sure is a good thing Torvin's so incompetent at teleporting with another demon.

    1. Who'd have thought that would ever come in handy?