Friday, May 9, 2014

Eggs and Angels

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I said.  “Why would Heaven want me dead?  Aren’t they the good guys?”

“You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs,” Talamur’s head reasoned.

“But what kind of omelet were they making?” Fikhos mused.

I rolled my eyes.  “Probably a Denver omelet,” I snapped.  “He was being figurative, dumbass.”

“So was I, sir,” Fikhos returned thinly.  “I was asking what objective Heaven was fulfilling by having you killed.”

“I can’t speak to that,” Talamur said.  “I didn’t ask a lot of detailed questions, I just did the job they wanted me to do.”

“Why would Heaven hire a demon?” Jaelin asked.  “How did they pay you and why couldn’t they do it themselves?”

“Angels try to avoid doing the actual egg-breaking themselves,” Talamur explained.  “They don’t like to get their hands dirty.”

I’d noticed that he had avoided the question of how he’d been compensated for his services, but apparently no one else had.  I didn’t feel it was important to bring up now, considering there were more pressing concerns.  “All right, well, we need to get back to Hell,” I announced.  “Our run-in with these demons has pretty much confirmed what Sebrev told us, so we need to find whoever’s doing this and put it to a stop.”

“That’s an excellent idea, sir,” Fikhos enthused.  Apparently he’d forgiven me for calling him a dumbass.

“But you’ll need someone to stay in the Realm of the Living to keep an eye on things, right?” Jaelin suggested hopefully.

I sighed.  “Yeah, sure, catch up with your old boyfriend for a while.  But the minute you catch wind of more demon invasions, you teleport right back to Hell and let me know.”

She nodded smartly.  “Will do.”  She plucked Talamur’s head from the ground and gently placed it against his neck so that he could begin healing.

Talamur spoke from the grass.  “What about the purple demon whose ass I was kicking when you lot showed up?”

I glanced over to where the demon lay unconscious, teleported over to him, and returned as soon as I’d reduced him to chunks.  “Anything else?” I asked.

Fikhos and Jaelin exchanged a quick glance before shaking their heads in unison.

“Great,” I said.  “Fikhos, let’s go back to my office.”

1 comment:

  1. He doesn't want to talk about it, it's obviously important. Now's when you squeeze his eyeballs for answers.