Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Broken

Had I been able to breathe properly in the first place, I probably would have been hyperventilating.  I was dying and I knew it.  Unlike my previous deaths (with the exception of my original human death) this was not quick.  I was just going to have to lay there and wait for my broken body to give up so that Conrad could send me back.  I didn't know how long this would take and I didn't want to be awake for all of it.  Hopefully the pain would at least cause my mind to relinquish consciousness after a while.

But my mind was in perfect working order.  Maybe I could call upon my telekinetic powers and heal myself the way I'd healed Sylnie—only faster.  I needed to do it much faster.  The pain was total and it crawled along my body in dreadful, shivering waves.  One way or another, I needed it to stop. 

I started with my breathing.  It was difficult to focus on anything other than how miserable I was, but slowly I forced the bones out of my bronchioles and sealed the holes in my lungs. I moved onto my legs, repairing my shattered femurs and patching up the singed and shredded skin.

Though my legs were probably functional now, I didn't have the strength to stand.  But I did have a little less pain to occupy my thoughts and I began to observe the scene around me as I leaned against the sycamore and mended my arms. 

Peter Quincy High School was in ruins.  The administrative offices had been absolutely leveled and the gymnasium behind it was in a similar condition.  The math department still stood with only a few scorch marks, but science wing had been obliterated and the shreds of burnt paper from the library blew past me as the wind shifted.  I occasionally caught glimpses of demonic forms moving around the edges of the building, doubtlessly planning the next detonation of their psychic explosives.

And here I was, watching it happen.

Someone standing beside me cleared his throat.  "Should I be assuming that you have a good reason for just sitting there while human civilization goes up in flames?"

I painfully craned my neck in the direction of the voice.  "Talamur!" I exclaimed weakly.  "Man, who'd have ever thought I'd be this glad to see my murderer again!"

9 comments:

  1. Maybe Jason is sitting there waiting for a pizza while civilization burns. I'd think that would be important enough to satisfy Talamur.
    RD

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    1. Talamur HAS acquired a healthy appreciation for pizza during his centuries of exile....

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  2. Hey, I've caught up finally. New reader this week...

    Very engaging story (obviously or I wouldn't have made it this far). One peeve I've had is how glibly people, demons, etc. handle pain. The nurse makes sarcastic comments whilst being stabbed, Talamur casually tries to calm Jason down after having his head cut off, etc. I thought this last post was much better - very convincing account of being so messed up that he's just hoping to pass out.

    Understand that there's so much extreme pain in the story that it might get repetitive to treat each case as its own extremely horrific account but I think you generally go too far the other way.

    But let me say again - I've really enjoyed reading this. Not used to fan fiction so the linear nature of the story seems a bit simplistic stylistically but I figure that's probably a natural consequence of this genre. Keep it up!

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    1. Thanks, Risk, I appreciate the feedback!

      Demons are supposed to be better at handling pain in the first place, and Jason's human origins make him more susceptible to feeling the agony. My intent was for demons to usually shrug it off and for humans to be a little more debilitated by it. Now that you mention it, though, I should probably take a look back and see if I really delivered on that objective.

      The narrative is pretty simple, I agree. I usually like something a little less linear but I felt like I really wanted it to be told entirely from Jason's perspective. So linear, as boring as it can be sometimes, seemed like the way to go.

      And...wait...this is fan fiction? I mean, obviously I didn't come up with the concepts of the devil or demons, but I have to say that bit baffled me.

      But I'm glad to have you here. And thanks for the comments you've made. I hope I can keep you interested enough to keep reading!

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  3. And yes, I've voted this week!

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  4. Sorry, misspoke with'fan fiction'. Meant web fiction or blog fiction or whatever you call the modern day serial. Anyway, great job and keep it up.

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    1. Haha, whew! I was pretty confused.

      Oh, and I didn't see your other comment until just now. I really appreciate that vote. I'm pretty sure people looking for new web fiction to read frequently browse the rankings at Top Web Fiction. It could be my imagination, but it looks like there's a direct correlation between how high TND is on Top Web Fiction and how much traffic I get. So that little vote of yours was a huge favor. Much obliged!

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  5. It is fiction though, right? ;)

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    1. This is actually my memoir. From Hell. From the future.

      Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

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