"Okay, you know what?" Lucifer interrupted. "If we need this kid's help, we probably shouldn't bore him to death. Maybe it would be better if I told him the story."
God frowned. "Why?"
"Because I'm afraid that two hours later, you're still going to be in the middle of your needlessly detailed epic narrative about the first day of creation and by the time you get to the point he'll be bleeding from his ears."
"Harsh!" God whined. "Why would you say that to me?"
Lucifer clapped a firm hand to God's shoulder and said solemnly, "Because friends tell each other the truth."
"Your beard looks stupid," God replied instantly.
"There," Lucifer said soothingly. "Wasn't it nice to get that out?"
"Hey," I said cautiously. "I'm still here and I still have no idea what's going on."
"Right, sorry," God said. "Go ahead and tell him the abridged version, Luce."
Lucifer nodded appreciatively. "So in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth." He chuckled. "Naw, man, I'm just kidding, there was tons of stuff before that."
If I wasn't almost positive that I was in the presence of two beings who were both infinitely more powerful than I was, I probably would have been losing my patience. But I didn't dare throw a temper tantrum here, and it wasn't because I liked the French fries.
"Okay, so really, in the beginning, it was just me and God, right?" Lucifer continued. "Super-awesome timeless beings frolicking around in space. Two young friends with their whole eternities ahead of them. Anyway, we decided to create our own universe together."
"Both of you?" I interrupted incredulously. I guess I was still struggling with the concept that God and Lucifer were so friendly with each other.
"Yep," God confirmed. "Both us. We created this universe as a team."