Wednesday, September 17, 2014

The Meeting Place

The wind definitely was whipping at me harder than a swarm of angry yellow jackets.  I’ve never been swarmed by angry yellow jackets before, but I had a hard time believing they’d be able to hit me at a hundred miles an hour or generate these kinds of G-forces.  Salabas liked to fly fast and low and he took his turns sharply and even threw in a couple of unnecessary flips.

Luckily, however, we didn’t seem to have far to go.  He stopped abruptly in a parking lot a few miles away and eased me down to a feathery landing as though he hadn’t just rocketed me through my hometown at breakneck speed.  Taking a moment to catch my breath and recover from a bout of dizziness, I looked around slowly at my surroundings.  “Burger Baron?” I asked.

Salabas nodded, which was when I realized that his enormous sombrero had inexpicably remained mounted firmly on his head through that chaotic flight.  “We needed a neutral meetin’ place,” he said apologetically.  “Everybody loves a good burger.”

“I guess I was expecting some kind of grand throne room in the clouds,” I admitted.

“Naw,” the angel replied with a chuckle.  “Gettin’ you into Heaven would be harder than gettin’ a pig snout out of the feedin’ trough, and getting’ you back out would be even harder.”

I frowned.  I guess that made sense, since Conrad seemed to have implied that my presence in Heaven following each of my deaths was unusual and tenuous.  “So God’s inside?” I asked.

“Straight shootin’,” he confirmed.  “Go on in, son.”

My legs felt all wobbly, and it wasn’t just from the berserk joyride I’d just been taken on.  “How will I recognize him?” I asked.  “I mean, white beard, glowing countenance, that kind of thing?”

Salabas gave me a wide grin.  “Oh, you’ll recognize him,” he assured me.  “He’ll be the one who recognizes you.”

“Okay, whatever,” I said apprehensively.  “You’re not coming in?”

He shook his head.  “I ain’t invited.”

“Oh,” I said.  “Uh, thanks for the ride, then, I guess.”

“My pleasure,” he said graciously, sweeping off his hat to make an elaborate bow. 

I walked up to the front door of Burger Baron, steeled myself, took a deep breath, and pushed it open.  I’d never been this terrified to walk into a fast food restaurant.


  1. Hell, if that makes him nervous to enter a fast food place, I have to wonder if this is his second time going to one.

    1. Maybe he's had some bad experiences with Burger Baron in the past. Long nights wasted leaning over a toilet, you know the drill.

  2. Is there any way to get your other books without involving amazon or kindle anything? I'm more than happy to pay, I just don't want to support amazon or proprietary formats for unrelated reasons.

  3. I have two short stories available for free from Smashwords, which also distributes to the iTunes store, the Barnes & Noble store and a bunch of others. But Amazon does like to throw its weight around, so in order to take advantage of the benefits they can offer, I've had to keep my two novels exclusive to Amazon.

    I really appreciate your interest (I wish someone would walk up to me every day and tell me they'd be more than happy to pay for one of my books!), but I'm afraid I don't have a good solution for you. Sorry.