Monday, January 5, 2015

Don't Panic

I took Onslaw back to my office.

The first thing I noticed upon our arrival was the noise.  The room itself was perfectly quiet, but there was so much chaotic sound coming from somewhere nearby that I half-expected to see Godzilla stomping around if I were to stick my head out into the corridor.  The second thing I noticed was Gus, sitting on the floor in the corner, smoking a cigarette.

"Gus?" I said.  "What's going on?"

He shook his head and let a long stream of smoke escape through his lips.  "I don't fuckin' know," he murmured.  "This shit's getting way too complicated for me, Boss-Man.  I'm just staying out of the way until it's all over with."

"Until what's over with?" I pressed. 

"This weird little grudge match outside, for one," he replied.  "I went to talk to Zyzyfus, just like you told me.  He was completely useless.  He had no idea what his father Vilnius might have been talking about that one time he mentioned a door to Heaven.  He apologized for not being much help and had someone drop me off in the waiting room.  So right before I finish walking back here, suddenly Zyzyfus and a bunch of his friends are in the hallway.  Then Gavsot and one of those creepy cult guys come out of your office, exchange a few fightin' words with Zyzyfus, and all hell breaks loose.  Then Sylnie comes out of the office too and joins in the violence, although I can't really tell whose side she's on and I definitely can't tell which side is the right side to be on, so I just decided to hole up in here until all this shit blows over because I don't have a fucking clue what else I should be doing right now."

Onslaw and I stared at him.  It was quite a speech.  It reminded me a little bit of the speech he gave me following the dramatic advent of Lucifer's Firstborn.  He was shaken up, confused, and panicking in his own way. 

"Incidentally," Gus added, puffing out another breath of smoke and gazing at his cigarette as though it were somehow defective, "this really isn't doing the trick like I'd hoped.  Mind if I head back to your storage rooms and rummage around for some cocaine or something?"


  1. Onslaw's name is misspelled in the third word for the page. I don't really remember Zyzyfus, but his spelling is consistent here. As for Gus, if Coke doesn't do the trick, he can always try Pepsi. I'll show myself out.

    1. Oh, man. This is just embarrassing. Thanks for the catch, again.

      And Coke/Pepsi aside, Gus strikes me as the kind of guy that would improvise by snorting Kool-Aid in a pinch.