Friday, January 9, 2015

Prepare to Die

"Hey, Zyzyfus," I said with a nervous chuckle.  "How's it hangin'?"

Ignoring my friendly greeting, he hopped nimbly through the ragged hole he'd created and stared me down with an icy glare.  "A while ago, I learned some disturbing information," he grated.  "It was common knowledge that the King of Lucifer's Firstborn killed my father.  It was an honorable passing," he continued as he strode toward me, clearly relishing this moment.  "If you have to lose a parent, for him to go down as a hero fighting someone so fearsome and so dangerous to everything we hold dear is a good way to lose him.  But what was brought to my attention later was that Halkkor wasn't the one truly responsible for my father's untimely demise."

The last time I had seen Zyzyfus, he had been a wimpy pushover, meekly laying claim to the Directorship of Developstruction because it was his "birthright."  Either that had been some kind of an act, or the understanding that his father had been betrayed by his own king had become some kind of catalyst for the guy to reinvent himself.  This version of Zyzyfus was not a wimp.  He was aggressive, he was angry, and he exuded a power I hadn't thought him capable of as he slowly circled around me in his moment of Inigo-Montoyan vengeance.

I didn't bother denying my role in Vilnius's death.  I opened my mouth to admit blame but Zyzyfus didn't seem to want me to participate in his score-settling scene.

"It was you!" he roared.  "You enslaved him with a spell and then forced him to attack Halkkor to save your own skin!  Your cowardice and your arrogance and your sloppy mismanagement of this entire kingdom are responsible!  You will pay for your treachery, for your betrayal, for your selfishness, for your sins!"

"Well, there's a little bit more to the story," I pointed out once he paused for a breath.  "I don't know who told you this stuff, but there's more that went down between me and Vilnius."

"He told me enough," Zyzyfus snarled.  "He told me you killed him."

Despite the gravity of the situation, it was extremely difficult to restrain myself from replying in my best Vader voice, "No.  I am your father."


  1. Probably should have just said it. Jason's in deep enough to where taking the situation lightly can't even make it any worse.

    1. "Okay, Zyzyfus, stop me if you've heard this one. A priest, a rabbi and a duck all walk into a bar...."

    2. Just out of curiousity, is Vilnius intentionally named after the major city of Lithuania, which is Anglicized "Vilna?"

    3. Yeah. Not that I have anything against the city or its inhabitants. I've just always thought the name sounded cool.

      Although I'd always assumed "Vilnius" WAS the Anglicized version. Interesting.